A Man Can Do Nothing Unless a Woman Gives Him Attention!

These are the very toned-down words of a respected man in my community spoken to my mother. This was back when I was in school and as soon as those words left his mouth I looked at my mother, who out of respect, nodded yes and their conversation took a swift turn like these words were never uttered. Or maybe for him those words were just like 'the sun sets in the west’, 'the moon has no light of its own,' etc. The two of them didn’t know how these words which were the simplest words ever according to them would shape my mind.

So, a little history, it’s 2015 and I am a fifteen-year-old girl who is harassed by a junior male in my school and his friends. The school observes a strict policy of girls and boys having separate floors, different recess times, and even the time to let us go home has a ten-minute difference. The boys are on the ground floor while the girls are on the first. As the school head girl I am bound to visit the boys' wing because that’s where the branch head’s office is. My initials are MJ and there’s an element that’s Mg in the periodic table.

So, it’s natural whenever I am descending the stairs the boys of class 9 are going to shout Mg out of nowhere. And hey, I am just overthinking because maybe they love the element right? Because despite the attempt to tell the situation to a staff member, the chants are still there. No, they must love the element. A little side note, this is the same class as my sister’s and even though this is a time when the boys and girls sit separately there will come a time when they will sit in the same class.

Remember this part. The harassment reaches a point where my initials are written on the side of his display picture. But, what am I supposed to do? I don’t have proof right? There comes a time when I think replying to him and telling him will solve this whole FUCKIN problem but hey, now I am his supposedly girlfriend (but this is not until I am in college that I get to have this information okay? So maybe I’m just overreacting)

I am in matric now and I feel things will be different this year. But the kind of Black cat I am, how is that possible? A girl can at least dream, right?

Anyways, it's his birthday, and two of his friends, as I am in the boys' section for the exchange of some copies, present me with my favourite Chocolate (which is now on the BDS list), and as I am about to take it, and boom!

They tell me it's his birthday. So, as a mature sixteen-year-old girl I tell them to deliver my happy birthday but I won't accept the chocolate.

Now looking back at this incident if I'd taken it, who knew we would have been engaged (pun intended because some of you don't have humor)

Back to my sob story, (because most of you would call it either that or just an attention-seeking thing) I am finally done with matric and prepping to go to college. I get a phone and a number. Someone calls on that number, it's my father who picked it up.

Bam, it's the junior of my dreams (guys that's a pun again) My parents are now concerned. I am with my friends in college and I tell the whole story to a friend who was also in a different school with me from 5-7 class. Now, the timeline is a little blurred but these two things happen one after the other.

My younger sister comes home from school and bursts into tears. Turns out, the juniors are still obsessed with the element mg but it is a step more; they are a bit more direct. But, hey, that's hearsay! The same friend comes to college and tells me that the junior told her brother (they are in the same academy, yeah my world is really FUCKIN small) that I am his girlfriend. Okay, wow.

My mother goes to the school, adamant that she wants to talk to his parents. But, the staff assured her that none of this would happen again so don't worry. Mother dearest has no choice but to come home.

This Junior keeps sending me apologetic messages from fake IDs every now and then. And I am tired of blocking every single ID. I know the story is getting longer so I will not enter into the details of how he placed an order on Fiverr to write an apology letter. I was writing an apology letter to myself and was getting paid for it. You gotta give him credit for the brains guys! Long story short, I instantly find out it's him and give him a sweet promise to call cybercrime if he ever bullies me online again!

He kept harassing me for five years and ever since that sentence of that man, I kept thinking maybe somewhere I gave him a hint that I was into him. I was fifteen when this sentence was said and now I am twenty-four (will be in a month and a half or so) and to this day, if there's anything that ties me to a guy,( there have been a few incidents because I am a girl who talks to everyone with a smile and people think I am in love with them! ) I think it's my fault, that I am the one who gave them the green signal.

Now let me tell you a funny story. I didn’t even know there was a guy in that class until I received messages from him on Facebook. That was the first time I got to know that this guy is my junior!

I guess there are many lessons in this story;
A- You can admire stalkers turned to lovers in novels and dramas ( I don’t because I know how it feels)but the second you are met with one in real life, you feel nothing but the highest form of hate. Yes, I am talking about the dramas starring Danish Taimoor that girls were OBSESSED with.

B- Men hate women, and belittle them without even realizing that they are doing it, it’s like this is innate.

C- Words cut deeper than a knife and when you are growing up, if the adults around you are having serious conversations and agreeing on something that’s morally incorrect, it will imprint on the brains of the youngsters, like it’s on mine.

I have written enough so I’m gonna sign off now!