And It Just Takes A Gush Of Wind To Bring Me On My Knees!!!

A gush of wind,

A familiar laughter,

A sentiment once shared,

All it takes is just one second,

A second to bring me on my knees as I struggle to breathe!

It’s sad,

So sad that I pity myself.

My PITY is synonymous to LOVE. You know why? because loving you was like inviting pity to house within me forever. It’s crazy how you take days to detox, months to stay away from toxicity and then, within a moment, all of it comes back, like it never went away in the first place. I often ask myself, “why did I choose to love you when I could have stayed away from love” But I guess when you choose it’s not Love, really. Is it? It is a decision and Love does not hold hands with decision ever!

I hate myself, for being so vulnerable. Even when I have everything, I feel empty. I wonder do you? Last night, I was going through some stuff to donate and turns out I still have that birthday letter you wrote me. Yeah it only had HBD written in the middle of the page but it had your handwriting. I don’t have words to explain how my heart is twisting right now. How the twists and turns are nothing but dark.

And in this darkness, when I should be looking for ways to make myself steady, all I am looking at is your memories, our memories. Can I call it ours? I wonder If I can.

I have a sacred responsibility now, the one I thought I won’t ever be ready for. And I want to tell you all about it. It’s unfair to me how I spent months forgetting about your existence and within one moment, you are back in my life. Your presence is all around me yet I cannot hold you. You live within me, yet I cannot feel you!

I hope this reaches you somehow!

If it does,

just remember;

After all this time? Always!!

A/N- This is how I imagine Snape would have felt every time he remembered Lily!