I Am A Grown Up Woman🌻
(My grammar at this point sucks so if *grown up woman* is not the right phrase please excuse my brain that only functions for irrelevant stuff)
I am a grown up woman, I am told, so I have to behave in a certain way. I am a grown up woman, I am told, so I have to change my perspective about things. I am a grown up woman, I am told, so I have to say yes to the men around me. I am a grown up woman, I am told, so I have to lower my voice in an argument.
Today was the most important day for women but sadly half of the population of Pakistan hates this day because of all the patriarchal reasons. Here is a story I wanna share since I no longer have a mid term tomorrow (I was not studying for it anyways)
I went to an open mic today, which was arranged by a society of my University. It was held in Bukhari Auditorium and I was very excited to listen to all the people. The juniors of my department are very talented so yeah I was not disappointed when I heard all of the performances. But let me tell you something. Somewhere along these performances, somewhere in the middle of these performances there appeared a line that made me aware of my position in this society as a woman. I may look to you like I have never been told to shut my mouth by a man just because I am a woman. I may look like I have my life all sorted out, that the people in my life have never been patriarch, or even misogynist, that I never cried because how condescending the men were in my life at some point. But the truth is not like that. Us women have been on the receiving end of these brutal actions and remarks caused by you men.
When I heard what I had been through,I cried, my nose turned pink, I cried because I remembered all the times when I questioned my position as a woman in this society. I cried because I remembered all the times when I had to fight for something as small as just having a say in an argument. I cried because I remembered all those times when I was afraid to walk on the street because there was a guy who harrased me each time I walked from home to school. I cried because I remembered the time when I was chased by some boys of a school while I was a college girl. I cried because I remembered all those times my advices, arguments were not taken seriously because I AM A WOMAN.
Once, I was walking home alone and there was a guy walking ahead of me. We had the same route for almost fifteen minutes but never for once he stopped, waited for me to pass, grabbed a near stone for self defence. And there I wondered this is what liberty feels like. Because I, even in my university, when walking alone and feel that there is some guy behind me, instantly stop and wait for him to walk ahead. This is how much helpless I feel while walking down the same street that both men and women have right to walk on. All these eexperiences that those women shared, there were some reflection of my personal experiences in it. I cried because I felt traumatised at that moment but also felt brave because despite everything here I am completing my Honours and aspiring to be the woman in this world who will be remembered as a strong woman in society. I will be the change I want to see in women, in society, in this world. I will be the voice for the women. I will be the murderer if you try to be a harraser again. Because now, I am not a 5 years old. Now, I am a grown up 22 years old woman, who will not be afraid to hit you and call you out and drag you if you try to harass me.
Because I Am Now A Grown up Woman.🌻
