It Must Feel Burdensome Carrying Two Faces?!?!

She looked at the blank piece of paper in front of her study table and began writing. After writing the first word she looked at it for ten minutes as the memories of the past rushed to the surface and tears welled up in her eyes. As the first tear made its safe landing on the paper, she tore the paper and threw it away. Then she began writing it again. This time, with a small smile playing on her lips. She knew she had to address this before it gets too late. And so she began scribbling words on the paper:

How does it feel? Carrying the burden of two faces? Doesn’t it get heavy? Or you are at home with it? And after you give me the answer to that, please tell me why do you have two faces? I mean yes I sort of get it why. But aren’t you courageous enough to own the shit you do behind people’s back? Why does this need to be the angel in front of most of the people is there? Why do you crave this attention and validation? You like ruining people’s lives. I know that. Then just stick to goddamn ruining it. Don’t just turn all doe eyes in front of the people you never want to show your bitch face to. Because well, you know that eventually there will be your downfall right? Your downfall will be the most horrible downfall in the history of downfalls because of the way you have treated people. I mean, I kind of look forward to it. And Yes I know people are supposed to be kind but when you are hurt deeply, you barely become kind towards the source of that hurt. You are that source, you know that right? I wish you learn your mistakes, your horrible sins before God gives you your downfall. Because haven’t you heard the story of Pharaoh? Don’t you know what happened to him? Or are you too blind by this prejudice of yours against us? I just simply cannot understand that why are you doing this? Because we have been the people who were behind your back like this giant wall so that you have something to lean on to. And you are now behaving like an uncultured swine.

Tell me why? Samantha, you know how much I was hurt? Was because now I don’t hurt. Now it is just coldness around me. Now I feel like I am becoming a bitch towards you. And why shouldn’t I be? Your face that you use with me is nothing but a grotesque representative of who you actually are. And the face you have for the rest of the world is this Saint-y and Angelic. I cannot explain anyone who you are because no one believes me. And why would they? You serve them tea while you never serves me. Why would they? Because you hug them with smiles while you ignore my personality like I am a spec of dust in air. Why would they? Because whenever they are around you become the sister I never had. Why would they? Because for them you are the perfect model of being a human. A kind one, the best one. Dear Samantha, you are not the first person who has treated me differently but let me tell you something that God bears witness to your deeds. He is the witness of everything you are doing and that day is not far when there will be your downfall. Dear Samantha stop being the contemporary world Pharaoh before you shall be drowned in the sea of your own sins.

And with that she folded the piece of paper and opened the box tucked inside her drawer safely. There, in the midst of several coloured pages, she put the folded letter. And there went another story of her heart, unheard and not listened, like all these coloured pages.

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An ordinary girl🦄

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Maryam Jaffar

Maryam Jaffar

An ordinary girl🦄

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