Live and Let Live!!
I started covering my head or to be precise having the headscarf when I was 10. Back then there wasn’t any inspiration behind it. I just really wanted to cover my head so I did. I never faced any objection from my parents and siblings. But, I had to face some seriously dumb questions from society.
Yes, we live in a society where people don’t like to just mind their own business. The questions that I had to face were something like this :-
“Why do you wear a scarf? Is it because you have short hair?”
“Are you bald”
“Do you have any sort of problem?”
“You wear it all the time?”
“Nobody has ever seen your hair?”
Yes back then my hair used to be short. I was a tomboy, plus my hair was curly and I never liked them. It was like a burden on me. A BIG BURDEN. I used to see these news channels telling about how a girl was beaten brutally for covering her head in the countries like America, England, Australia etc. And, I used to think that why Non- Muslims do such a thing but no, It’s not just about Non-Muslims, it’s about even some of the Muslims too.
So let me tell you my personal bullying story, (I have tons because of my sectarian beliefs but this one is different) I was in 7th grade when my friends ( yes they were my friends) did something really terrible that left me in tears and I was completely astounded. It was our lunchtime when we all were chatting and eating in the class.
My friends came, (they were four) and asked me to come to the playground. Our class used to be on the first floor. After finishing my lunch I went with them thinking we will be playing something. I was wrong, very wrong. Just when we reached the middle of the playground within a blink they just snatched my scarf and ran. I was clueless about what happened and who was the one snatching it.
I was so embarrassed that without looking here and there and not even baring a glance at them, I just ran, bumping into people ahead. I ran straight for my class. I was so shocked that there were no tears in my eyes. Entering the class, I quickly settled myself on the floor, in a far corner, away from everyone. Bringing my knees close and hugging myself I realized what fear was like.
I was afraid, afraid of these human beings, how can someone do something so pathetic? Why do people do things like this? What do they get after doing things like this? What did they want to see? If I had some special third eye on my forehead or if I am a bald girl or if I have big ears or maybe no ears at all….
They came back and gave me the scarf back, apologizing, saying it was just some fun. And on that day I realized that “ Someone’s misery can be a pleasure for someone else.”
I mean, they got curious to the point that they thought it would be best to just snatch and run. Not really caring about the kind of trauma it left on me for weeks, months……
I am now normal, I forgave them right on the spot, but the one thing that I learnt was that people will not stop judging me at all wherever I go. I changed my school and had to face a problem there too. When I saw the prospectus, I saw that only one girl among some 50 was having a headscarf. I was 13 back then( somewhat less dumb) but I made it pretty clear that no, I am not going to give up on my scarf now.
I straight away told my mother that no, I am not going to this school if they object to my scarf. Gladly, there wasn’t such a thing. Instead, it was the place where I was accepted for who I was. despite being the only one at the time who covered her hair, nobody ever pointed a finger at me or refused to sit with me. They all loved me the same.
I started wearing a shawl ( a long piece of cloth to cover your entire body) while going out. People asked me to remove it for functions. The advice most of them still give is “ Please don’t wear it on your wedding day too.”
I didn’t like wearing makeup until I was 20 and at that age, the only thing I did was to apply lipstick. And even still people weren’t happy with me because in university I vividly remember someone saying “Your husband will be bored of you soon enough because of your inability to like makeup.”
I mean does that even make sense? “Boys love makeup” So, they should do it then. I like doing a bit of makeup now but that’s only because I feel comfortable not because MY FUTURE HUSBAND WILL NOT LOVE ME ENOUGH WITHOUT MAKEUP! Back in college my friends always tried to force me into wearing an eyeliner and I never liked it because I felt they were being too pushy.
My simple question is; Why cannot people accept us as we are? You don’t like a girl who has a scarf around her neck, but at the same time, you don’t appreciate the one covering her head. WHY?? You don’t like a girl who wears a lot of makeup yet you also hate on the one who barely wears it. All in all, why is your subject of hatred for women? And mind you, all these things always ca,e from another woman. So much for Women lifting other women!!!
I like GEO NEWS’ Slogan because it literally says:
Geo or Jeene Do
Live and Let Live
