Losing Trust is the worst Heartbreak!
As the caption says it really is true for me. Losing trust in someone is the worst kind of heartbreak. The one that would never be able to pick itself up and mend itself. The heartbreak you cannot tell anyone about, because you are too afraid that they won’t understand the situation or they would simply say something inappropriate for the person. And I am not talking about someone breaking your trust, I am talking about you breaking theirs. It hurts like a bee’s sting. Cuts deeper than a knife. Slits your soul in halves. It hurts like those thin injections sucking blood out of your pale body. It hurts like the shredded glass on the pavement and you walking barefoot. When you realize that your loved one doesn’t trust you anymore. Whatever the reason might be. You know that it will never leave your heart. You know just like the bruises on your heel from that childhood accident, it will stay with you forever. You know that you have breached something so sacred and even if you were not on the wrong side, even if it was a misunderstanding you don’t have enough guts and courage to look them in the eye and apologize. You don’t have guts to look at them and say that you are ashamed. You don’t have enough nerves to go and say it was not what they looked at it as. It stings every time they ignore your presence and you wonder why you still haven’t turned to ashes and how a re you still standing there? You feel like the insides of you are turning and they are twisting in a manner that can never be untangled.
You just stand there in silence, plugging in the handsfree and turning up the volume to the point that that your ears close the door to any outside voice. You turn on the music, your favourite, maybe something you hate, just to avoid the outside’s voices. At this point all you want is to stop the tears from leaving your eyes. You want them to house inside the eyes and not fall because you know it will attract people and this is the last thing you want. You may listen to some country music, or you may listen to Sunsetz and then you begin to wonder as to what next is there for you. Because you are watching your whole world shattering in front of you. The one person who you loved in the whole world more than your own self, is now not even sparing a glance at you. Then in a moment you decide something. You decide to let it all go. Let everything go, once again, for that person. Because you still love them more than you love yourself. Because you will reject everything just for them. Because you did it before. It is easier to bury your feelings than to hurt them. You decide to leave everything behind just to have them back. You would go back in time to change that misunderstanding if it is possible. Because you know that only their love is true. Because they are your Parents. The ones who brought you in thsi world. Okay they may have made choices that affected your life in a negative manner but when you see them making efforts to set everything back on track for you. When you see them being the best in world and fighting everything and everyone just for you, you know you would do anything, even rip off your heart if it ever comes down to that, for them. If only it is possible for you to go back in time and make it right, you know you would give up your whole life to gain their trust back.
