My Favourite Binary Opposites~

Love and hate are two of the strongest words that have left quiet a hard impression on the world. I used to search for the definition of both of these words. Trying to find a reason why it is different for every perosn. Why it is a single word yet subjective? Why it contains so much emotions inside just the four letters? All my life I searched for the answer to my question. Trying to identify love and hate admist the crowd. Trying to search whether I feel both of these words or not? Whether they exist or not? And if they exist how do you really know that you have been acquainted with this word? I tried finding these emotions in myself. Tried to solve the mystery of whether the feelings I have inside should be labelled as such or not. And when the word finally rang my doorbell, I stumbled back. Because I thought that it will be them and not it. It will be two and not one. But how can it be two when I considered them one all this time? It was my fault to consider them a single feeling while they were two but one. It was my fault to always think of them together. And what happened next was also my fault.....

It was dressed in my favourite colour with the sprinkles of the colour I never liked. It started sitting next to me in silence just like I wanted, but whenever I needed it to talk, whenever I was dying inside, it swiftly just ran away. It never appreciated me for who I was, but always gave an opinion when I stated someone else's words. It always knew my problems, but never helped me getting out of them. It knew how much I loved tea but never had a cup with me. It always identified my true identity but still used harsh words for me in front of people. It caressed my cheeks but never embraced me when I was crying rivers. My love and hate were never apart. They were always together. They were like rose petals and its thorns. They were always there but never there at the same time. They stayed behind my back without telling me, kept comforting me but left me all alone when my back started leaning on them, when I started dwelling on them. They were the mashup of the songs that I loved and hated the most. They always made me smile but instantly made me feel like I mean nothing to them. They were home for me and they were the reason I was homeless. They made me love myself like never before and they were the reason I loathed myself more than anyone on this entire planet. They were the reason I elevated to heights and they were the reason I was brought down on my knees. They were my heaven and hell at the same time. And you know why? Because I always considered them one but two.