Traditions of Skardu..

The traditions of Skardu.

Skardu (Urdu: سکردو‎) is a city in Gilgit-Baltistan region of Pakistan, and serves as the capital of Skardu District. Skardu is located in the 10 kilometres (6 miles) wide by 40 kilometres (25 miles) long Skardu Valley, at the confluence of the Indus and Shigar Rivers at an elevation of nearly 2,500 metres (8,202 feet). The city is an important gateway to the eight-thousanders of the nearby Karakoram Mountain range. The town is located on the Indus river, which separates the Karakoram Range from the Himalayas.
(WIKIPEDIA)

The weddings festivities here are very different than what we have back in the cities. Though it isn't the first time that I visited my hometown yet, it was the time that I observed the cultural rites that are performed in the weddings here.

Here in the cities, we have simple three to four wedding functions, namely Mayoon, Mehndi, Barat and Walima. Some times the Dholaks or Dholkis continue for three to four days.

But here in Skardu, the festivities are somewhat different.

Starting from the lunches or dinners that take place before the wedding. There is a feast reserved for the colleagues of the bride or groom before the actual wedding festivities. It depends on the family whether they want to do it one day before the festivities or one week.

Most of the families in the cities celebrate a day called Mayoon/ Ubtan with full enthusiasm as the other days, however in Baltistan we don't get to see that function being performed on a large scale. This day is celebrated with close family members, as we celebrated it in the lounge of our house. People don't get dressed very formal for this day except for the bride or the groom. We also don't get to see people smearing ubtan on the faces or hands of the bride or groom. It is just another feast that ends with a lot of "shughal".

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The next on the list of festivities is the Mehndi. This day is my personal favourite as it doesn't burdens the families of bride and groom much. This year we had two weddings going side by side, so the mehndi was bit hectic. Firstly we had to travel to another district from skardu, known as SHIGAR, it took us some 50 minutes to reach our destination. There are some things different from what we have in cities.

• There are no chairs for the people to sit. Everyone needs to sit on the floor, of course the floor is carpeted but every wedding is performed without the involvement of chairs. There is one sofa in the middle for the bride or groom to sit on, other than that it's just the carpet that you have to sit on. This is, from my point of view, an extremely great thing because it creates sense of harmony and it kind of shuts down the whole narrative of being prejudiced and all. Secondly, it also proves to be less burdened on the family. I hate how the weddings crush the family of the bride because the society demands nothing but a lot of glittering on the festivities. This serves as a plus point here.

• There is no food served to the people who come bearing mehndi. They served us with this delicious Kehwa in beautiful silverware pot called *Samawaar* and some different things with it, after we were done with the mehndi. I loved this too, at least the budget of tea is less than that of the food. We didn't spend the entire time there rather we sat there for almost 20 minutes because we had to go to another place too after that.

After coming back home we went to my female cousin's susral( You have to bear my english with the soft touch of urdu in this entire article) Here we repeated the same ritual. Sat on the floor, I actually liked it I don't know why but I did. And then we were served with the tea. It was extremely tiring day for us because after all the moving from one house to another we finally were free at 3 am and so we weren't left with any time for the Shughal.

The Next day was BARAT. And there were two Barats that had to be attended. Now here in Skardu there arr two different cultural rituals related to barat.
• One is that the groom goes to the bride's place and take her with him on his way home. Just like here in Lahore. This is called Balti shadi.
• Another one is that the groom goes to the bride's place but she doesn't come with him. Rather she is escorted to groom's place with her family members, and they too leave after almost half an hour of Groom's departure. This one is known as Kashmiri Shadi. Now I personally don't like this thing as it is really frustrating and hectic too, for the family of the bride. But rituals are rituals right?
I got to see both of these things.

Few people went to Shigar. We were escorted to a room where all the ladies sat and then after some minutes they came with a beautiful silver pot that had a giant hollow plate with it. It is known as, and it’s purpose was to wash our hands. They poured the water and we washed our hands. Again this is a tradition that is a symbolism for respect.

Then we were given the food. The food is not given in the separate plates rather it is given in a giant round plate known as TABAQ, that holds the food for three people. It was extremely hard for me to eat in it because the amount of food made me somewhat nauseous. But, it wasn't my house and I couldn't complain so I had to eat. The food was delicious though. The menu of the wedding is same all three days; white boiled rice with Spinach (palak) along with Koftay and white qourma that the locals call as, yakhni (یخنی) There are also Seekh Kababs served with the food.

• They don't use spoons in wedding, you have to eat with your hands and if you are going to attend a wedding in Skardu, make sure you know how to eat with hands😂
• The con of this Tabaq System is that a lot of food is wasted as nobody eats the whole tabaq. Wasting food is a sin and I guess this system needs to be changed but if only it is that much easy to change the systems of our world.

The WALIMA has also the same setting and most of the people there still like to give the Walima in the day time. So one of the Walima that we attended was in day time while the other was at night.

• The people invited to the wedding are almost three times the people that we have here. Estimated people who are invited to the weddings there is 1000 to 1500.

• The food for the Mayoon and for the Feast before that was prepared by the women of the family. No cook or caterer was there to cook the food. Which is something extraordinary. I mean can we imagine preparing food for such a large amount of people on our own? Nah, I don’t think so.

Then after the weddings, there is a long list of Dawats that goes on for so long. The newlyweds on the dawats are presented with money safely packed in envelope that is placed on the top of candies. It is known as "Pheakhtap"

The two things that inspired me the most are;

• The men work equally on the dawats as the women unlike the men here in cities. They don't hesitate in setting the plates or even placing the dishes on the dastarkhuwan. People here in the cities think of it as a crime as the male ego is way too high to lift the plates and place them on the table.

• They believe in the working women. No women of my family living in skardu is simply a house wife, all of them work alongside managing their houses and their children. It is so empowering that for us that place is still backwards yet it has accepted the women as workers. They work in feilds with their men, they have respectable jobs and yes they live happily in their houses (since there is this myth that working women cannot manage their kids and home well) Every time that I see the women there working, I feel so empowered and it makes me so happy.

• The city has developed so much. The people there are so hospitable and loving. Whenever we used to go somewhere everyobody around used to greet us with a smile while being total strangers. Ever since I came back, it feels like I have left a part of me there forever. I have never felt this attachment on my first ever trip but this trip has left a void in me.

Until next time, hope to see you soon skardu❤💜🖤